Monday, March 28, 2011

A Foot In Two Worlds

One of the problems with trying to keep a record of our journey is having the time to post. We very much have a foot in each world right now.

Attempting to be more self-sufficient is a very time intensive prospect. Making sure plans are made, the beds are prepped, planting is done and the animals are housed and cared for takes a great deal of effort.

We also have our suburban obligations. This weekend was full of baseball and gymnastics and church. It feels sometimes like our schedule dictates our life instead of us dictating our schedule. It is frustrating, but I can not tell my children not to follow their passions so I can follow mine.

We have drawn lines that I refuse to cross. We do not have any child in more than one sport. It would put undue pressure on all of us. With multiple sports, there would be no time for us to gather as a family. I also don't want to spend anymore time in my car than I already do. At this point I already need a hack licence.

I love my life. It is full. It has frustrations and the clock never seems to slow down, but my family is healthy and we are finding our stride. It is hard to live in two worlds. It takes adjustment and I couldn't do it without my family being committed to the journey we are on. There are some friends and acquaintances in each world that do not understand the demands of the other and offer advice that includes going all in for the one they are a part of. I can't do that. Not yet.

I dream of a day that I can be free of a car. I would love to have days working in the garden and preserving the harvest with no reason to be concerned with what the clock and calendar are screaming at me to do.  It will come, too soon I'm afraid. My children are growing. I need not wish those demands away.

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